I tried to be perfect in every way I could. I tried to look perfect. I tried to get perfect grades in school. I tried to be perfect in each area of my life.
But I could not.
And so I started to cover up my imperfections. I was trying to project the image of the perfect Kristina, when on the inside I knew I was not perfect.
This made me feel insecure. I was scared of what will happen when somebody finds out that I was not perfect.
But then I met Jesus and He helped me to overcome my fear of rejection. Here are 3 steps to help you overcome your fear of rejection:
1. Realize that Jesus loves you unconditionally
When I met Jesus I realized that He loves me just the way I am. He loves me even when I am just wearing my pajamas and my hair is messy. He loves me even when I don’t get perfect grades in school. He loves me even when I sin against Him. He still loves me.
And knowing the real me He still decided to die for me on the cross so that I may have life if I accept the sacrifice He has done for me.
Accepting Jesus in my heart was the best decision I have ever made in my life. It set me free from the fear of rejection.
Now I know that I do not have to try harder. I do not have to cover up my imperfections. I do not have to feel insecure anymore about somebody finding out who I really am.
Jesus knows who I really am. He knows me better than I know myself. And He still loves me.
“Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love” (NLT, 1 John 4.18).
Jesus loves you. Jesus knows all of the sins you have committed. But He still loves you.
2. Love Jesus more than you love anything or anybody
Nobody will love you more than God. Nobody deserves your love more than God.
If you truly love Jesus more than anything or anybody in your life, than you will naturally want to please Him first and not other people.
When you start caring more about what God thinks about you than what other people think about you, you will fear less being rejected by other people, as their opinion is not the one that maters most to you anyway.
Care more about His opinion than about the popular opinion.
“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” (ESV, Romans 8.31)
If God of the whole universe loves you just the way you are, than why would you care what other people think about you?
3. Love people as Jesus loves you
Our fear of rejection often comes from being too self-centered. We are constantly worried what other people are thinking about us.
But if instead we just shifted our focus from our own imperfections and problems and instead helped people with their problems, then our own problems would actually seem smaller to us.
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”” (NIV, Mark 12.30-31).
But it’s not just the shift of focus that will help us to overcome the fear of rejection. If we learn to love other imperfect people around us then we will automatically learn to love ourselves in spite of our imperfections.
If we can give grace to other people then we can give that same grace to ourselves.
Do you have any other tips for somebody struggling with the fear of rejection?