After our first skype date I wanted to end the relationship with James. I really liked him and really hoped that we would connect on skype as well as we connected while chatting. But that appeared to not be the case after our first skype call.
After our first date I felt really discouraged. I thought James was an answered prayer. I thought God brought him to me. But since I didn’t get to talk much during the skype call, it just didn’t feel like we would be able to connect in real life. I really didn’t want to end the relationship, but what choice did I have?
So I spent the entire day contemplating how I would do it. In the mean time I avoided social media, so as to not have to face James. Reflecting back, I think I was procrastinating on telling how I felt to him. Or maybe I was trying to figure out my feelings before sharing them with him. Whatever it was, I felt really depressed that day.
I resolved that in the evening before going to sleep I would tell him how I felt and that I didn’t feel like we connected or that we would work in real life. I was praying about it too and talking to my family and to the older couple I stayed with about it. But the more I thought or talked about it, the more sick to my stomach I got.
The evening came and with trembling hands I opened Facebook. It felt wrong. It felt like I was about to destroy his and my happiness. I took a deep breath.
As I was about to start typing, I noticed that James had sent me an attachment.
A few days before
Some time before our first date, I proposed James write a guest post on my Christian blog. He had sent me his Bible study of Philippians, which was very insightful. So I thought maybe he would like to write something for my blog too.
James agreed and wrote me a blog post. It was well written and very deep in terms of theology and Bible truths described in it. But I also felt like it was a bit too academic sounding for my blog. It read more like a formal paper one would submit in a seminary class, rather that an easy-read quick and practical blog posts I was posting on my blog at the time.
It was a pure miscommunication on my part. James couldn’t have read my mind on that. So I complimented him on the article and proposed he makes a few changes to the style of it to be coherent with other blog posts on my blog. I tried to be really nice about it, as I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
Back to where we were
So when I opened Facebook and was about to tell James how I felt about our first date, I noticed that he had sent an attachment. It was a blog post he had written, but now revised. So I thought that before I write him anything, I should at least read the blog post. He probably worked really hard on it. I opened the file and read the revised article.
I was astonished! WOW! He didn’t just revise it, he wrote a new one. He even created a catchy title and had 3 points in his article. The language was easy to read, written in small paragraphs, and the article was also very applicable.
I was amazed at how humble he was and how much he was willing to change in his writing to accommodate me.
So instead of breaking off the relationship, I ended up praising him on the blog post he wrote and how much I liked it. James was happy that I liked it and we started chatting again.
After seeing how humble he was and how responsive he was to constructive criticism about the article, I thought maybe I should try the same approach for our next skype call. Maybe if I told him how I felt about not getting to talk much, maybe he would allow me to talk more during the next call. Maybe it was something he could change. And maybe then we would connect in real life too.
So I told him how I felt. James was totally clueless that he talked too much and said that he will make sure to let me talk more the next time we skype. So we scheduled a second skype date. And I was really excited about it!
James & Kristina Love Story Part 4 is coming soon.